How to write a great online dating profile for men.

To write a great online dating profile then consider this chaps-

• Who you are?

Self-awareness is a very valuable tool, if you don’t know who you are, then how can your   potential dates be expected to?  They could always guess!  I guess, So figure it out, your likes and dislikes, strengths and weakness’s, tastes in music, food, travel etc….  Do an inventory, if you’re a sensitive soul, say so… The truth is self awareness brings action and power to the dating game, without it the potential for fun can be missed.

• Where are you psychologically?

Are you in a good place emotionally? Or are you feeling sad, lonely and blue, because, Gill suddenly decides she just wants to be just good friends?  Giving yourself time out can be rewarding. Learning to enjoy your own company and rediscovering the old you, without interruption, can be a positive experience. When not to begin dating will be personal to you, several pitfalls to avoid would be:

• Your Married
• You’ve lost your job
• You’ve lost a parent, good friend, dog
• You’re lost
• You’re still involved ( or not moved on)
• You’ve been divorced for less than a year (give yourself that space)
• You’ve lost your house

• Be honest.

Be honest, be precise, and be specific. If you only have one chance to write on line, write it on paper first. Take the above into account and use it. Don’t allow yourself to trot out the usual trite phrases, “enjoy nights in” of course you do, most of us do in the UK especially in winter! Rather use the space to be slightly more inventive, eye catching without being dishonest. If your 5ft 8” and enjoy train spotting, don’t pretend to be 6ft 1” and an aerodynamic engineer, you will be found out. It also won’t help you to find the person who will accept you for who you are.

• Have a recent easily identifiable photo

The number of responses, increase dramatically with a good photograph. Use a fairly recent photo. Avoid old photo’s that no longer represent the person you are now, it doesn’t pay to have a discrepancy between the picture and what you really look like.  Don’t have your “significant x” on it! It is really off putting to a potential date, also props like big cars, motorbikes, it is much nicer if you are just you.

• Check Spelling and Punctuation

Spell-check your ad. Correct grammar and punctuation.  It’s easier than you think, Word will auto correct your spellings, if you can, get a friend to proofread. Even if this is all on the QT it pays to get it looking right.

• Avoid misunderstandings when describing yourself.

Unless you can make eye contact with your potential date, the idea of describing yourself as hunky, with a good sense of humour, is fraught with difficulties; nobody knows how somebody else will interpret something as personal, as looks or humour! For example some of my friends think I’m witty… my children and partner think I’m too caustic!  Big difference. Somebody somewhere must find Mr Bean funny, I for one find him embarrassing Make sure what you’re saying is what your described and representative of you.

• Don’t make a dating profile toooo long.

We all know women get easily get bored especially when something boring like the world cup final is on! So keep it short, to the point, and above all keep them wanting more

How to write a great online dating profile for women

Writing a dating profile can be compared to writing a CV. They are both resumes after all.  There are many sites offering to write, or re-write your CV’s but not many to help you write a dating profile. A thoroughly modern online dating profile works best when you consider -;

• Who you are?

Self-awareness is a very valuable tool, if you don’t know who you are, then how can your   potential dates be expected to?  They could always guess!  I guess, So figure it out, your likes and dislikes, strengths and weakness’s, tastes in music, food, travel etc….  Do an inventory, if you’re a sensitive soul, say so… The truth is self awareness brings action and power to the dating game, without it the potential for fun can be missed.

• Where are you psychologically?

Are you in a good place emotionally? Or are you feeling sad, lonely and blue, because, Jack just hit the road?  Giving yourself time out can be rewarding. Learning to enjoy your own company and rediscovering the old you, without interruption, can be a positive experience. When not to begin dating will be personal to you, several pitfalls to avoid would be:

• Your Married
• You’ve lost your job
• You’ve lost a parent, good friend, dog
• You’re lost
• You’re still involved ( or not moved on)
• You’ve been divorced for less than a year (give yourself that space)
• You’ve lost your house

• Be honest.

Be honest, be precise, and be specific. If you only have one chance to write on line, write it on paper first. Take the above into account and use it. Don’t allow yourself to trot out the usual trite phrases, “enjoy nights in” of course you do, most of us do in the UK especially in winter! Rather use the space to be slightly more inventive, eye catching without being dishonest. If your 5ft 2” and enjoy browsing for antiques, don’t be tempted to say your 5ft 5” and an expert in antiquities, you will be found out. It also won’t help you to find the person who will accept you for who you are.

• Have a recent easily identifiable photo

The number of responses, increase dramatically with a good photograph. Use a fairly recent photo. Avoid unusually flattering, glamour shots; it doesn’t pay to have a discrepancy between the picture and what you really look like.  Don’t have your “significant x” on it! It is really off putting to a potential date, also props like, your cute dog, cats, nieces, nephews, this photo should be about you, a good head shot would be nice.

• Check Spelling and Punctuation

Spell-check your ad. Correct grammar and punctuation.  It’s easier than you think, Word will auto correct your spellings, if you can, get a friend to proofread. Even if this is all on the QT it pays to get it looking right.

• Avoid misunderstandings

Unless you can make eye contact with your potential date, the idea of describing yourself as sexy can be fraught with misunderstanding; Nobody knows how somebody else will interpret something as personal, as humour, or sexiness! For example some of my friends think I’m witty… my children and partner think I’m too caustic!  Big difference. Humour and innuendo are intended to soften, lighten, and divert.  Make sure what your saying makes sense.

• Don’t make a dating profile toooo long.

We all know men easily get bored! On line shopping for them is fun. Their attention can wander pretty quickly. So keep it short, keep to the point, and above all keep them wanting more

This comes not only from owning a dating site but having used them previously and reading some terrible profiles. A badly written profile or short, silly message will mean you don’t end up meeting as many other people as you potentially could.

Remember, that you only have two weapons at your disposal in your profile. Your photo and what you write about yourself.

The Photograph

Truth is that you may choose not to put up a photo up at all initially and you will still get interest. Some people think that profiles without photos may not be real, or are posted by people who are embarrassed to be seen on an online dating site, and hence aren’t really that serious about dating anyway. For example, maybe it’s a married man looking for a little extracurricular activity!

Don’t worry about not being the best looking person in the world. We are all our own worst critics and there is someone out there for everybody. I am living proof of a not particularly good looking guy who is in a serious relationship with a beautiful woman who I met online.

If you do decide to put up a picture then please consider the impression you are trying to make and the type of person you are trying to attract. A photograph of you with a bottle of beer and a cigarette, partying with your friends may bring back happy memories for you but may alienate as many people as it attracts.

The first internet date I went on was with a lady who had put up a very nice picture that unfortunately was ten years out of date. Not only did I not recognise her, it said something to me about her integrity that meant that we did not meet again. Be honest about yourself and always put up a recent photograph to avoid embarrassment later.

My first photo on a dating site had me in the distance in black and white. For my second attempt I decided to wear sunglasses in an attempt to look cool! The feedback I got was that I looked suspicious and was hiding something. Because I take spectacularly bad pictures and look like someone featured on Crimewatch, I eventually got a proper photograph taken and lo and behold I trebled the amount of interest I was getting.

Your Written Profile

Your mum or dad probably told you that first impressions count. My very first sales training course taught me that you only have a limited amount of time to get people interested in what you have to say. So it is with internet dating where you have a limited space to convince someone to get in touch. Here are the rules for making a good impression.

Be concise

It’s also important to be as concise as you can; nobody wants to read pages and pages of a profile detailing what you had for lunch seven years ago on your first visit to a Bernie Inn. Try and pick out some key pointers, highlights, things that you may have in common with other daters and might make a talking point and give them a reason to contact you.

Be positive

We all have a history and some of us still live with the baggage from the past, but it’s always a good idea to highlight positive things about you rather than the negatives or weak points or bad experiences. Potential daters could be put off by a profile that describes sadness even a depressive nature in somebody. Try and sound upbeat and approachable. Sociable, outgoing personalities who appear friendly are likely to have much more success on an online dating site, so bear this in mind without trying to be someone you aren’t. I am not saying that you hide what it is that makes you the person you are but that you start off by accentuating the positives and not the negatives.

Remember you are for sale!

No Joking, Think about it for a minute. A personal ad is exactly that — an advertisement about you. So it makes sense to employ some simple methods used by successful advertising agencies. Let’s break your profile down into three parts.

• The Headline
• The Personal Profile
• The Close

Men in particular are masters at writing dull, uninspiring profiles that are custom made to limit the number of responses they get. Here is a real male profile that I found -

Headline: Single man looking for a nice girl

Personal Profile: Im 40 and love animals. my dog is a mad and goes nuts whenever he sees me. I like old cars, i love the outdoors(especially hiking), This is my first go at online dating. i like to do anything fun like snooker, ingcamp, hiking or go to pubs and clubs with a couple good friends. Im romantic, spontaneous, fun, and have a good sense of humor.

Close: If you want know more then drop me a line.

Forget the fact that this profile has grammatical errors; it violates every rule of good writing and good advertising. And unless this guy looks like Daniel Craig, he isn’t getting a date.

Let’s look at an alternative approach.

You have 5 seconds to get his or her attention

Always remember this: The headline is the most important element of your personal profile. It’s your first written contact with a man or woman. Studies have shown you have five seconds to capture attention with your headline.

The headline from the aforementioned profile is an excellent example of what not to do. It isn’t unique; it’s boring and typical of its type. It’s also redundant. Of course you’re looking for a man or a woman so don’t waste time and space stating the obvious.

The best approach is to use a headline that’s intriguing and inviting, one that makes him or her think of an answer to a question.

A headline my members on this site have had tremendous success with is: “Have you ever been to XXX?”

Replace the XXX with the location of your choice, as in “Have you ever been to the Box Tree? The Box Tree… it’s a small and exclusive restaurant in Ilkley a pretty market town in North Yorkshire.

This will immediately get him or her interested… “Hmm, what’s so special about the Box Tree?” They will click on your profile to find out what you’re talking about.

This leads to the personal profile.

You may have heard the phrase “The devil is in the detail.” With internet dating, the detail is what helps you find your dream man or woman.

Although this is a generalisation, what many women want, what they dream about is going on an adventure or an exciting journey with a charming and suitable man. Compare this profile with the one highlighted previously. Which do you think is more exciting?

“I’m usually on the go at weekends. Last week I visited friends in London and checked out Kew Gardens for the first time. The new Amazonian garden is simply amazing. One of my loves is music and we bought tickets for ‘Priscilla, Queen of the Desert’ which was fantastic fun. Next weekend it’s a hike around Grassington and maybe dinner at The Box Tree. The only thing missing from my life right now is a special person to share it with. Please do get in touch if you feel you fit the bill. All emails will be replied to. Thanks for reading.

To me it’s obvious that the latter is better.

Anyone can say, “I like to do anything fun.” But in the latter, you separate yourself from the pack by teasing his/her senses with details. And you’ve left the door open for a possible date (maybe, dinner at the Box Tree) This is known as the close.

A couple more things for you to take into account

Do a spell check before you post your profile.

If you can, do a spell check before posting your profile. Some people (like me) will judge you on your spelling and grammar.

Remember you are not texting.

The number of people who use text speak is amazing. Unfortunately, some of us have not got a clue what it means and will switch off when it appears. Here is the text speak equivalent of “I would like to meet a man who has a good sense of humour and who enjoys travelling abroad”. (Id lk 2 mEt a mn hu hs a gsh n hu Njoys trvlng abrd). OK it’s an exaggerated example but trust me on this and write in plain English.