Free love? As if love is anything but free. Man has bought brains, but all the millions in the world have failed to buy love.

Dating, do you ditch the old memories?

Do the dates of the past influence the dates of the future?  Did that disastrous first date put you off the second date?  Or did your first date turn into your first love?  Either of those and subsequent memories can serve to cloud or enhance future prospects. As human beings we are programmed to assume that the future will always work out similar to the past. Some of the things in life follow basic principles, for example if you bang your head against a brick wall it is going to hurt!

It may well be that your last partner cheated on you?  It is highly likely that they will cheat again; this is a problem that they have and usually has little to do with who you are.  It doesn’t necessarily follow that your next partner will cheat on you. You are the same person, but each partner is new. They kind of come with a clean sheet, don’t they?  If they resemble your last partner and have the capacity to stray, then maybe you need to examine your own motives. Some ladies love to be in love with bad boys; some of the guys can only love a party girl. So, why not broaden you horizons a little, keep an open mind, and don’t assume that all is gloom.

Do it too quick (a bit of  ‘how’s your father’) and you are missing out on the chance to get to know the other person emotionally first. It’s amazing what a barren spell inbetween the sheets allied to a bottle of wine will do to speed up time for people. I can’t believe I am actually writing this stuff seeing as my record from first meeting to bed was 15 minutes and that included a bag of fish and chips! Still, I guess that time makes you more sensible and now I am positively over the hill, I reserve the right to preach a bit. A good rule by the way is not to go to bed with someone until you know them enough to remember their middle name.   So the people without a middle name are getting nothing following that perticular rule. still you cant please everyone!

The days when men were expected to pay for everything on a date have come and gone. It makes a woman look modern and generous to at least offer and be willing to pick up the bill particularly if she has a well paid job. Even if not, then at least offer to pay something even if it’s only for the picnic sandwiches. Men, offering to split the bill makes you look cheap so don’t do it. Times are changing but not that quickly!

Dealing with dating depression

Some time ago, I broke up with the person I loved. I went into a state of lethergy and doubt. The only direction I could look was backwards and life had no joy for me. Friends said that I should live in the moment and stop soul searching. Trouble was that although I knew the advice was correct I could not do what they suggested. Eventually I went to the doctors and he gave me some pills to take. I despise taking pills and have always prided myself on being strong but this time I accepted the advice on offer. Now I feel a lot better about myself and I am off the pills (six month worth) and grateful for my life and all it’s possibilities again.

Sometimes folks, you just need to do whatever it takes to kick start your life again.

Flattery is most effective when used with an element of surprise. Flattery is disarming; the most stubborn of dates will melt with a subtle compliment. For instance if your date insist on paying half of the bill, tell her or him how refreshing it is to find that old fashioned virtues still exist. If your date has a lovely smile, pick up on this, it will make the person smile more. Flattery begets flattery, if someone makes you feel good you automatically respond. If you confirm something to someone, that they were already aware of, but is often left unspoken, their self-esteem levels rise. Flattery is about making a person feel honoured, according to my dictionary. Surely there is nothing wrong with that?

Dating is an adventure. Dating for the over forties is doubly the adventure with an added bit of baggage! It is advantageous then to have a little extra in the tool box, other than the usual. Why not try. The art of flirting, the very words evoke an image of a flash cad with a big wad! Not so, Use Flattery, the spirit of flattery is to look and listen to your date and find out what strikes you about that person? It may be that they have a job that holds a level of responsibility that requires a significant amount of travel. Hey, we all have to travel to get to work these days, but I take my hat off to the person who does a fifty mile trip before they even begin.  It would be nice if you registered this and acknowledged it as an accomplishment

We all have our comfort zones. Our homes, our cars, our local pub amongst them. When you go on a first date you leave all that behind and it’s just you apart from one thing. That thing or things are the clothes that you wear. My advice is not to wear a new frock, tie or shoes. Wear what you like and love and feel comfortable in. My partner met me online dating and she looked like she had just got off a horse the first time we met! Guess what? Love at first sight for one of us (not her) because she was just her and not a facsimile put together to impress me that was not her. Take your comfort zone with you.

The good and bad news about online dating

The good news about online dating is that the choice is huge. It can be a real boost to see how many people are in the same boat as you and looking. The bad news is that it can be addictive and not everybody is honest about their age, career, status and looks. Old photo’s are the usual ‘little lie’ people tell about themselves. Silly really as they will be found out when they meet the other person.

All in all it’s a fantastic way to spend your time and meet people. OK, for every prince you may have to kiss a frog or two first but that’s life aint it?

Dating is an adventure. Dating for the over forties is doubly the adventure with an added bit of baggage! It is advantageous then to have a little extra in the tool box, other than the usual. Why not try. The art of flirting, the very words evoke an image of a flash cad with a big wad! Not so, Use Flattery, the spirit of flattery is to look and listen to your date and find out what strikes you about that person? It may be that they have a job that holds a level of responsibility that requires a significant amount of travel. Hey, we all have to travel to get to work these days, but I take my hat off to the person who does a fifty mile trip before they even begin.  It would be nice if you registered this and acknowledged it as an accomplishment. Flattery is most effective when used with an element of surprise. Flattery is disarming; the most stubborn of dates will melt with a subtle compliment. For instance if your date insist on paying half of the bill, tell her or him how refreshing it is to find that old fashioned virtues still exist. If your date has a lovely smile, pick up on this, it will make the person smile more. Flattery begets flattery, if someone makes you feel good you automatically respond. If you confirm something to someone, that they were already aware of, but is often left unspoken, their self-esteem levels rise. Flattery is about making a person feel honoured, according to my dictionary. Surely there is nothing wrong with that?