Dating an emotional wreck? There are many emotional wrecks on the over 40 dating scene due to the age we have reached and the fact we wouldnt be here without life kicking us in the nuts a few times. But how to deal with someone at the end of their emotional tether, always witing for the next kick in the goolies. The answer is to look at how we want to be treated ourselves. Personally, I believe that people need to be trusted and given space to breathe. Also, who are we to judge bearing in mind our own history of mistakes? I may not be religious but “cast not the first stone” comes to mind. I find that the biggest mistake people make on the over 40 dating scene is to be controlling in relationships.

Let me know your thoughts on the subject

OK, it’s August but the shops are already getting stocked for Xmas. If you are not dating or in a relationship then Xmas and the new year can be  a pretty bleak period. Not least because you have invariably had great christmas’s previously and pulling a cracker for one just doesn’t work.

It is possible to pull a cracker for Xmas on a over 40 dating site because there are so many people waiting to hear from you. But why start now?

Lets say you start chatting to potential dates online during September and you feel confident to meet up with a couple in late September. One isn’t for you but the other is worth another date. Meanwhile you ahve two more potentials to fit in. Truth is that over dating can be a numbers game to get the right person on your arm.

That’s why, if it were me I would start the over 40 dating search sooner rather than later.

Let’s face it – men and women who are over 40 and still looking for love are either divorced individuals or people who have fallen out of love for all the obvious reasons! However, if it wasn’t because you were a whacko or weirdo that you didn’t get a date till this late, you probably would find love still waiting for you in some corner of the world! All you need to do is use your experience!

Over 40 dating, again for all the obvious reasons, can be really fulfilling and satiating – both physically as well as from the emotional perspective. The fact that men and women who are interested in over 40 dating, whether online or offline, tend to be mature and sincere individuals at this point of age, which makes relationships much more romantic and long-lasting than in their youth!

However, the rules of the dating game don’t change much, even when you have children who might be dating out as well! So if you were looking for an interesting and attractive partner, use your experience to make the match happen! For instance, if you knew you did not exactly have the gift of the gab, try and entice her/him with other aspects of your personality – such as common hobbies, humor and the like. Remember to make her/him laugh and smile all the way through the date, for no one likes a serious bore you know, even when you are over 40!

And no matter how excited you may be about the over 40 dating sojourn, keep your hands off her! It is wrong to assume that single ladies who are over 40 are eager to go into bed with you, and asserting that misconception may leave you with a black eye and a bad dating record!

Finally stay confident and learn to accept rejection, for with ages of experience, even suave Casanovas fail to woo a girl on their particularly bad days!

So what are the dynamics of online 40+ dating? For me it was the simple truth that at my age I did not want to be propping up bars in the hope that someone would turn up. The other advice you get is to get a hobby and join a club. Again, good advice but what are the chances of meeting an unattached and mutually attractive person this way?

To me, the only sensible choice was to join a 40+ dating website and my decision has certainly been vindicated. Here is an opportunity to meet and chat to hundreds of people looking for exactly the same as you. Not only that, you can take your time before meeting after what is basically an ongoing online vetting process.

Is over 40 dating a game or a hobby? Actually, I don’t care but having nothing to do before Sherlock starts on BBC1 and so I though a brief ramble on my over 40 dating website might be a good idea. If you ever wondered why so much crap is written on websites, it’s because Google reward regular writers with higher search engine ranking. Higher ranking equels more visitors and more visitors equels more subscribers.

The reason you get repeat phrases such as over 40 dating is that this is the word the website owner is promoting in the rankings.

So, apologies that this is nothing to do with the over 40 dating, game or hobby subject. Sherlock is starting.

My Mum never thought she would be over 40 dating anyone at all. Her fantastic husband and my lovely Dad, died unexpectedly in October 1897 from cancer. Let me have a quick preach here; if you smoke then stop today. I have seen my Dad die of lung cancer and a more dreadful demise is hard to imagine. Back to my story:  when my Dad died, my Mum lost all heart and spirit. Her social life (mainly at the local pub) was wrapped up completely with my Dad and she spent months at home, pondering her fate as a widow. Eventually, two of her friends cajoled her to going back to the pub once a week. They introduced her to a man whose wife had also died suddenly. Two years later and they were married. Guess what? They still are and are now longer married than they both were the first time around.
Now what is the chance of that happening again? Into our 40’s, we have all had relationships and we wouldn’t be over 40 dating now if it had not gone wrong somehow. Many of us are not centric on a social activity and pubs are not what they used to be. That’s why sites like mine exist; to give you hope and control over your future. The over 40 dating scene is now an established online entity and you are far more likely to find someone nice than a chat up in a pub!

It is fun to buy gifts and when it comes to buying gift for your over 40 dating partner you need to think twice and choose cautiously. Try and investigate about his likes and dislikes. Every man is unique and has diverse taste for presents; I bet none of them would like being presented with lingerie, ties or socks as gift items. So you require doing a great deal of research to find out what you man wants?

If he is tech savvy, the best gift for him might just be the new model of Blackberry phone or I-pods. To boost up his engineering skills you might gift him with a set of power tools. Choosing you gift for your man reveals how much you know him and his hobbies.

While choosing your gifts you need to realize that you are presenting something to a guy who is sober and mature and has already seen forty springs of his life. You need to select something to complement the personality of your over 40 dating partner.

Here is the list of gift for your mature dating match:

Tickets of sport events or concerts- The best gift for any man, young, old, dating, single, married or divorced. Guys love to watch their favourite team play and cheer them to victor in the auditorium or listen to their favourite music maestro in concert. The best part of this gift is that, you can also accompany him.

If he is addicted to music, then you have a lot of option open right at your hand. Gift him a DVD/CD player or a collection of DVD’s of his favourite movies or songs he always longed for. Believe me; he will love you for this.

Wardrobes- you may prove to be a great help for deciding the wardrobe for you mature dating match. As women are considered to be more fashion savvy then men, you may gift him with something that is trendy and goes well with his style. As long as it isn’t another tie or underwear, he will be more than happier.

Men are often crazy for mild fragrances, if your man likes it too; why not gift him cologne? A cozy and luxurious bathing rob is another gift that can make him happy.

Wallets and accessories like expensive lighters and watches cannot be left out from the list your gift list.

What ever the gift may be, if will spell out your love, affection and concern for you man. Give some of them above mentioned items to please even the pickiest man. A gift of his choice wrapped in warm passionate love can really add to you over 40 dating moves turning it to a relationship of a lifetime.

One of the dilemmas of dating on line is the fear of rejection. It can be a bit of a shock sometimes to realise that not everyone finds us devastatingly attractive.

To put this into perspective it is probably down to a bit of inexperience on your part. To begin dating on the internet can be a bit nerve wracking, like anything else in life it is a journey and requires a bit of practise.

Choosing to chat with someone you find attractive, as opposed to someone who you have something in common with is probably not the best way to go forward in the world of internet dating, or on any date for that matter. Who asks who for the date can depend on the gender and age of the people involved? Men have traditionally done the asking, they risk rejection far more than the ladies, it doesn’t really matter who asks who for a date as long as someone does. Just be prepared for the answer. If it is a negative it may be that you asked to early. It could be that the other person feels hopeless and loses confidence. They could be painfully shy and fearful of rejection themselves, there are lots of reasons for someone to say no initially. The list is endless. So don’t take it too personally, nothing in life is without risk, but once you convince yourself that you’ve weighed up the pros and cons you have more to gain than lose.

What’s your best over 40 dating date? Mine was simply this – a walk around the beautiful cogworth rocks with a beautiful girl and a bag of Maltesers. Follow this up with a stroll around Cringeworth, buying nothing but a cup of coffee and some amazing buns at Lou’s tea house. Then a bottle of white sat by the side of a bar watching the world go by before visiting a charity shop to buy three designer ties for £20 including a Versace! Next to Pongsworth to watch the Gull’s followed by a lovely dinner with Four good friends in a local Chinese restaurant. Back to mine for …… (you can guess the rest)

So whats your favourite over 40 date?

Watching ‘a question of genius’ on BBC2 and thinking it doesn’t take a genius to be on the show or use a over 40 dating site to find friendship, companionship and love. I mean, what is the downside of trying an online dating site? You get a chance to be anonymous  if you want. Approach those you are interested in and have others approach you. Chat for as long as you like before arranging to meet people.

We all look for something different in a partner and you can search by age, size, income, star sign or pretty much anything else you want. So genius or not, why not try over 40 dating today?