OK, it’s August but the shops are already getting stocked for Xmas. If you are not dating or in a relationship then Xmas and the new year can be  a pretty bleak period. Not least because you have invariably had great christmas’s previously and pulling a cracker for one just doesn’t work.

It is possible to pull a cracker for Xmas on a over 40 dating site because there are so many people waiting to hear from you. But why start now?

Lets say you start chatting to potential dates online during September and you feel confident to meet up with a couple in late September. One isn’t for you but the other is worth another date. Meanwhile you ahve two more potentials to fit in. Truth is that over dating can be a numbers game to get the right person on your arm.

That’s why, if it were me I would start the over 40 dating search sooner rather than later.

Related articles

• Over 50 Dating Online – Is it Safe (50-dating.co.uk)
• You Don’t Have to Be Alone! – Dating Tips for Over 40 (40-dating.co.uk)

Let’s face it – men and women who are over 40 and still looking for love are either divorced individuals or people who have fallen out of love for all the obvious reasons! However, if it wasn’t because you were a whacko or weirdo that you didn’t get a date till this late, you probably would find love still waiting for you in some corner of the world! All you need to do is use your experience!

Over 40 dating, again for all the obvious reasons, can be really fulfilling and satiating – both physically as well as from the emotional perspective. The fact that men and women who are interested in over 40 dating, whether online or offline, tend to be mature and sincere individuals at this point of age, which makes relationships much more romantic and long-lasting than in their youth!

However, the rules of the dating game don’t change much, even when you have children who might be dating out as well! So if you were looking for an interesting and attractive partner, use your experience to make the match happen! For instance, if you knew you did not exactly have the gift of the gab, try and entice her/him with other aspects of your personality – such as common hobbies, humor and the like. Remember to make her/him laugh and smile all the way through the date, for no one likes a serious bore you know, even when you are over 40!

And no matter how excited you may be about the over 40 dating sojourn, keep your hands off her! It is wrong to assume that single ladies who are over 40 are eager to go into bed with you, and asserting that misconception may leave you with a black eye and a bad dating record!

Finally stay confident and learn to accept rejection, for with ages of experience, even suave Casanovas fail to woo a girl on their particularly bad days!

Related articles

• Over 40 dating – should she bother? (40-dating.co.uk)
• Over 40 Dating – Tips For Selecting Your Screen Name (40-dating.co.uk)

Over 40 and stuck in the past?

So here I am with my new partner and as happy as can be. We hit it off completely and are chalk and cheese to our previous partners. I for instance, take pride in looking after myself, cooking, cleaning whatever. I simply have never believed that its a womans place to do this stuff. Its a shared duty and quite frankly I enjoy doing my bit (particularly the cooking. Now my partners previous and her son believe that its a womans place to tidy up their rubbish and this preys on her mind as if I am going to change my outlook and become more of what she knew previously. I on the other hand love the fact she loves my kids but often venture into the past to talk about how this wasn’t always the case with my ex.

Is there a moral or a lesson here? I guess not beyond that you should not always expect the worse and perhaps after all these years of striving you have actually hit the dating jackpot.

Here’s another over 40 dating tip for success. Lots of research shows that men are attracted to bright colours and shapes. All things being equal, a little black dress among a crowd of other black dresses just won’t work. Now nobody wants you to go out dressed like a parrot but a splash of colour to draw attention to your best assetts will help you stand out from the crowd.

Try it yourself. Next time you are at a function and see what woman stands out from the crowd. I can almost guarantee it’s the woman with the figure hugging dress or a splash of bright colour.

Pretty much any subject is OK for conversation in a western democracy unless you are a religious misogynist. However, starting out on a potential new relationship, you might be better sticking to the warm, safe and neutral subjects of -

The Weather. OK, OK it’s boring I know but what the hell.

Location. Where you are right now, the sites, the smells etc. Paint a picture for the person listening and ask them about their surroundings.

Popular Culture. We all love something, be it pop, classics, movies, theatre or books. With online dating you may be speaking to someone with the same interests. I did however, once manage a proper argument about the movie Avatar which I consider to be the worst movie ever made (if you enjoy a plot, tension, good acting).

Early doors you may be best to keep away from politics and religion. God knows, I love airing my views on the dogooder politics dragging us into oblivion but even I (outspoken) have learned to keep this well packed away.

Dating, do you ditch the old memories?

Do the dates of the past influence the dates of the future?  Did that disastrous first date put you off the second date?  Or did your first date turn into your first love?  Either of those and subsequent memories can serve to cloud or enhance future prospects. As human beings we are programmed to assume that the future will always work out similar to the past. Some of the things in life follow basic principles, for example if you bang your head against a brick wall it is going to hurt!

It may well be that your last partner cheated on you?  It is highly likely that they will cheat again; this is a problem that they have and usually has little to do with who you are.  It doesn’t necessarily follow that your next partner will cheat on you. You are the same person, but each partner is new. They kind of come with a clean sheet, don’t they?  If they resemble your last partner and have the capacity to stray, then maybe you need to examine your own motives. Some ladies love to be in love with bad boys; some of the guys can only love a party girl. So, why not broaden you horizons a little, keep an open mind, and don’t assume that all is gloom.

The days when men were expected to pay for everything on a date have come and gone. It makes a woman look modern and generous to at least offer and be willing to pick up the bill particularly if she has a well paid job. Even if not, then at least offer to pay something even if it’s only for the picnic sandwiches. Men, offering to split the bill makes you look cheap so don’t do it. Times are changing but not that quickly!

Dealing with dating depression

Some time ago, I broke up with the person I loved. I went into a state of lethergy and doubt. The only direction I could look was backwards and life had no joy for me. Friends said that I should live in the moment and stop soul searching. Trouble was that although I knew the advice was correct I could not do what they suggested. Eventually I went to the doctors and he gave me some pills to take. I despise taking pills and have always prided myself on being strong but this time I accepted the advice on offer. Now I feel a lot better about myself and I am off the pills (six month worth) and grateful for my life and all it’s possibilities again.

Sometimes folks, you just need to do whatever it takes to kick start your life again.

Flattery is most effective when used with an element of surprise. Flattery is disarming; the most stubborn of dates will melt with a subtle compliment. For instance if your date insist on paying half of the bill, tell her or him how refreshing it is to find that old fashioned virtues still exist. If your date has a lovely smile, pick up on this, it will make the person smile more. Flattery begets flattery, if someone makes you feel good you automatically respond. If you confirm something to someone, that they were already aware of, but is often left unspoken, their self-esteem levels rise. Flattery is about making a person feel honoured, according to my dictionary. Surely there is nothing wrong with that?